Love and Logic

I just got back from Salt Lake City where I attended a "Love and Logic" conference with Dr. Jim Fay. It was so GOOD that I wanted to tell all of you about it...especially you parental units. He has such practical ways to deal with kids--things I wish I had known as a parent. Go to the website http://www.loveandlogic.com
They have books available for parents that would be helpful at all levels, from toddlers (how to get your kid to go to bed and stay there the first time, for example) to homework wars, to dealing with teenagers.

Here's a tip from yesterday: NEVER argue with a child...just lower your voice and say, "Love you too much to argue with you," and keep repeating it whatever your child says. Then DON'T engage in any arguing. The kid soon learns that line--they may get disgruntled and say, "Yeah, I know...you love me too much to argue with me!"but they learn that you can't be manipulated that way. This buys you time to think over what you might do. Fay says any time you argue, you've lost.

Other one liners:

When a kid says, "I hate you!" he is really saying, "I'm mad because I can't manipulate you."

Children who learn that temper tantrums work become adults who use them.

While in the heat of emotion is NOT a good time to make decisions. Wait.

Oops. Dad's coming to get me from school. Finish this later!

It's Been a Long Time

Julianne inspired me. Her blogspot is so CUTE (I WILL learn how to decorate my page...eventually!). But coming back here to write is a big step for me right now.

I have pondered about how to keep a journal...you all know how I've filled many hand-written journals...then I switched to typing my thoughts and keeping them in a word file...then I wanted to write a gratitude journal after hearing Henry B. Eyring's conference talk in October 2007. I filled one little journal and loved it, because the focus was always positive. It helped think every day about how I had been blessed, or how I could see the hand of God in my life and the lives of my family.

Then Janna bought me a set of new journals because she knew I had filled the one...but they are larger, and looked harder to write in for some reason...and writing by hand sometimes makes it so I don't write at all.

Today as I thought about it, I remembered I had set up this blogspot. "Why not record my life online...then I can print off pages and keep them in a binder for hardcopy backup if I want. Eh???" So here I am on a Sunday morning, trying anew.

Yesterday was FUN. Darwin, Kendall, Janna and I worked our heads off outside. Since the city of Hurricane was having a clean-up day, they provided huge dumpsters and a place to off load organic materials, too. Darwin had already decided we were going to do WAR on the spiders which have seemed to multiply and replenish beyond all reason. We've had more cobwebs than I've ever seen before...it's out of control and crazy! We've had the bug lady spray, too...but evidently the spiders LOVE the organic stuff she uses. Cockroaches hate it, and they belly up and die, but not the spiders. They have made little nests in-between the mortar of the bricks...they have spun their webs absolutely everywhere outside. Darwin would park his pickup in the driveway, and the next morning, there would be webs hanging from underneath the truck. Our front room window became festooned with webs in the screens--it looked like we were decorating for Halloween!

So...we made war. We wanted to clean up the outside before we got a non-organic bug spray person to come, since the last big wind and ripped leaves and nuts off the pecan trees, and left behind lots of dirt. Once we started cleaning, the momentum of moving all the equipment behind the house...saws, lights, air-compressers, etc. etc. etc. became fun. We were deciding what to get rid of while we were at it, and this is where the excitement began. Lumber that has been stacked for years was a veritable paradise for black widows and daddy-long-legs. We were smashing spiders as we stacked the boards on the pickup to haul away. Darwin has realized that with his back problems--his instability even standing and walking--that he will never do the yardwork, repair work, etc. that he used to take for granted. He knew he would never do anything with the lumber ever again...and it hurt his feelings. It was like saying goodbye to a whole way of life...like chopping off an arm or a leg...seeing the very possibility of projects he has had in his head fizzle away as each board was stacked.

The old boards in the sandpile went. The stacked lumber in the corner of the back "patio" (I don't know what to call it--it's never been a patio, but home to all the things that would normally be in a shop or garage...if we had such a creature!) went. Various things in the shed went. There was rolled up chicken wire from down by the chicken coop, old posts, feed barrels, all the stacked up stuff inside the coop...and along with all that, more dreams. "Should we get rid of this biddy pen? Or should we get some little biddies?" flitted through Darwin's mind and out of his mouth. I hated to have to tell him, "Honey, think back on why we got rid of the chickens in the first place. Carrying those sacks of feed was too hard, especially in the winter, and they pooped all over the back yard where the trampoline is."

"Yeah." (Said in a dejected voice!) "Get rid of all of it."

So we did--and even Darwin got excited as he saw such progress. All told, we took five loads to the dumpsters!!! By "we," I mean Kendall and Janna. We could not have done it without them. They even hoisted Darwin's old wooden workbench, which was huge and heavy. (And another dream gone!)

If I had the money, I would build a real shop for Darwin...a place to store things out of the weather, a place where he could putter and build things, a place where he could fix and repair to his heart's content, without everything being covered with dirt and leaves, and SPIDERS!

Man. I'm writing a LOT. But if this is my new journal, that's how it's going to be. There is a huge possibility no one will read this except Darwin and me anyway.

Oh. Before I heist my keister upstairs to get ready for church, I have to enumerate more blessings: The weather has been glorious! Blue October skies filled with cool sunshine, leaves turning brilliant yellows and reds, cool, invigorating breezes...and since this IS Hurricane, downright gale-force winds to scour out the valley.

I rejoice in my family today. Shauna and Ty traveled to Salt Lake City to help Ty's cousin Adam finish getting his house ready to sell. Shauna contacted Andy and let him know they were coming, so Shauna and Andy will finally see each other after seven years of drought. I am so thrilled that their families finally get to meet. What with the Diaz family living in New Jersey and the Giffords in Georgia for so many years...and now having them only 7 or 8 hours away from each other, it's wonderful.

Julianne wanted to travel down from Logan to meet baby Matilda for the first time, so I hope that works out, too. Juje LOVES Utah State University...and Logan. She is having such a great experience there.

More later. I must away.

Sabbath Thanks

This has been a good Sabbath day. It started early for me...5 AM. That's when my body thinks I should get out of the sack. This morning I tried talking to my body, telling it, "No, no...you do NOT need to be up yet..." and rolling back into my warm blankie nest. But no...I really was wide awake by then, reviewing my day, my week my LIFE...so up I got.

The cat was glad to see me. He meowed his full, rich, throaty come-hither meow, to lure me over to his empty dish. It's not the food he wants so much as a brush of that burnished orange fur coat he wears.

I have been reading the book Opening The Seven Seals--The Visions of John the Revelator by Richard D. Draper, because that's where we are in our Sunday school lessons--the very last book in the bible, the book of Revelation. No one understands that book easily. Understanding comes with a very high price--prayer AND study. I'm at that time in my life when I can study, and it's been fun and very enlightening. Our computer is now back in the basement and I needed to look up some words while everyone else was still sleeping. I turned on the new Christmas-y lights down here, turned on beautiful music, and studied. That was the fun way my day started out. I absolutely love studying the gospel. Guess what? It's TRUE!

By the time I was ready to get up from hunching over the computer and move about, Darwin was up. We had a cozy morning washing last night's dishes together and fixing a BIG breakfast. (Think oatmeal, boiled eggs, grapefruit, tomatoes (for me), whole grain toast from some extra-yummy whole grain bread that even has sunflower seeds in it from Costco. Julianne came dragging out of her room when the kitchen was all clean and filled with food smells. I had fixed enough for her, too, so it was okay! It was fun eating in the sunshine that poured through the front window. It's been cloudy for days.

Then it was into the shower then off to choir practice for me.

Can I just say right here how I love singing in choirs? I must be honest and say that the ward choir is not quite like singing with the Lieto Voices choir...but it was still fun to work on our Christmas cantata. Kelli Beatty is leading it, because we're taking turns now, so I got to sing. Our former Bishop, Rick Beatty was able to come to choir--and I see he's already sporting a beard and a mustache. Facial hair must be the first order of the day for released Bishops!

Darwin, Julianne, and I went to the 9th Ward to Sacrament meeting, because Annette Van Dam Houston's son, Nate, was having his missionary farewell. That ward was packed, half with Samoan/Tongan people. It was fun seeing so many brown-skinned folks. Their Primary children sang a song--and at least half the faces were brown. They were so adorable. John Houston sang a song, and he was so toned down for Church!!!!

It has been the most beautiful fall. I think I say that every year, but I really MEAN it! Our pear tree is deep orange tinged with red. There are still leaves on many trees, but many are finally barren what with the winds we've had, the rains, and the cold weather. Yesterday when Darwin and I were driving home from St. George, the temperature changed 20 degrees in a half hour. It was clear up to 59 degrees when I came out of my LietoVoices practice...It felt so warm I opened the sun room of the Santa Fe while I drove, to enjoy the clouds. By the time I picked Darwin up from work, we went to Costco, and then were driving home, the temperature was down to 39...and it had clouded up and was raining like crazy again. We have had the best rainstorms for the past few days. We've been blessed. Thank you , Heavenly Father.

This afternoon, I cooked crockpot chicken because it's handy to let it simmer while we're in Church--the recipe that calls for cream cheese, Italian dressing mix, etc. and makes a wonderful creamy gravy for rice or whatever--and we had fresh French-style green beans and lightly steamed carrots, and a fresh green salad chock full of good things. Kendall came over, Aaron showed up later, we had the fire on, and it was cozy! We watched an old Christmas movie, "Christmas in Connecticut" with Barbara Stanwyck--and Kendall made chocolate cookies. Ah, food!

Everyone just came downstairs for prayers and found me at this blog. Julianne is now all snuggled up on the Lovesack...and everyone else is talking about hair dye while I type. Dad is wondering why I don't use "Especially for Men" haircolor like Aaron. I'm going now. It's been a GOOD day. (Oh. Our hometeacher came today, too. I love him...Ruel Hopkins, the fake George Gobel. He's a good guy.)

I'm SO technological...

It must be because I've entered a new decade with my 6oth birthday just past. Or it could be that my kids and my job force me into technology whether I want to go on the journey, or not. But here I am, starting my career as a blogger. HECK, I don't even know what bloggers are supposed to do!

I went furniture shopping over the weekend, with Janna and Julianne. Kendall and Darwin were gone to Salt Lake to a Jazz game, so there were no men around to stop the fun. We girls had a blast, browsing through Tai Pan Trading Company, oohing and ahhing over the Christmas decorations, going to the health food store and scarfing up free samples while waiting for the scooter contest (you had to be there to win. We lost!), strolling through Boulevard Home Furnishings while trying to find the perfect couch. Speaking of the perfect couch--my criteria this day was all about saving money. A saleslady told us that there was a Saturday Special going on that would ONLY be for that day...a sofa, a loveseat, and three tables (end and coffee) for only $499. It really was a good deal, because we even liked the furniture. So in the end, I went for it. Now I'm having a little buyer's remorse, because I can't even remember what the darn things looked like. Will they be cheap and trashy when I look at them tomorrow when they are delivered? Will I regret not paying more for what I REALLY want? Oh, life was ever thus--good deals warring with aesthetics.

They will deliver the furniture tomorrow. Kendall will help move things about to accommodate the new stuff. We will finally pitch the couch in the tv room downstairs--the Naugahyde one with the big rips that are taped--and the whole thing covered with a rather jaunty slipcover that Janna bought to make us look decent. The yellow flowered couches will be stuffed downstairs. Will they fit? We'll see. I am excited, yet nervous.



Who will ever SEE this blog but me? I don't know.