Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Love and Logic

I just got back from Salt Lake City where I attended a "Love and Logic" conference with Dr. Jim Fay. It was so GOOD that I wanted to tell all of you about it...especially you parental units. He has such practical ways to deal with kids--things I wish I had known as a parent. Go to the website http://www.loveandlogic.com
They have books available for parents that would be helpful at all levels, from toddlers (how to get your kid to go to bed and stay there the first time, for example) to homework wars, to dealing with teenagers.

Here's a tip from yesterday: NEVER argue with a child...just lower your voice and say, "Love you too much to argue with you," and keep repeating it whatever your child says. Then DON'T engage in any arguing. The kid soon learns that line--they may get disgruntled and say, "Yeah, I know...you love me too much to argue with me!"but they learn that you can't be manipulated that way. This buys you time to think over what you might do. Fay says any time you argue, you've lost.

Other one liners:

When a kid says, "I hate you!" he is really saying, "I'm mad because I can't manipulate you."

Children who learn that temper tantrums work become adults who use them.

While in the heat of emotion is NOT a good time to make decisions. Wait.

Oops. Dad's coming to get me from school. Finish this later!

1 comment:

The Cochran Buzz said...

Wow, this is stuff that I need to know. Thanks for that website. I am totally going to check it out because I am struggling with a couple of my kids behavior. I never know if I am handling it properly.